Shinn, My Gay Friend
by Sniper Zero
Summary: When Athrun lies and breaks Cagalli's heart, she only has her gay friend Shinn to turn to. But what if Shinn has been lying to her as well? Oneshot. ShinnxCagalli? not sure.


A/N: Wow, it's been along time since I wrote a fic...

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"So…Shinn, which dress do you think suits me the most? This red one? Or this green one?" Cagalli asked Shinn as she held two dresses in her hands. The blonde was out shopping for clothes to prepare for a special date Athrun and she were having later that night. Today is their anniversary and Cagalli was, to say the least, very excited about her coming date with Athrun.

"And why are you asking me this?" Shinn replied, not really answering Cagalli's question. The blonde frowned but made a gesture that her reason for asking him should be obvious.

"Because, you're my gay friend!" Almost immediately after she said that, Shinn quickly placed his hand on her mouth covering it. Was Cagalli trying to humiliate him in public!? Saying that he's gay with her voice so loud…God just what is she thinking!?

"Shut up! Do you want other people to hear!?" Shinn's voice was barely soft enough to be a whisper but still not loud enough to be considered a shout. His hand only left Cagalli's mouth when he heard her mumble something incoherent. He sighed then spoke, his voice gentler and calmer this time. "Don't talk when I'm covering your mouth 'cause you know damn well I can't understand you."

"What is it with you and people finding out you're gay? I'm only telling the truth." Cagalli picked up the dresses she dropped when Shinn had covered her mouth. When she picked up the green dress Shinn spoke, surprising her a bit.

"The green one." Cagalli looked at him with confused eyes. "The green one would look good on you." He answered her unspoken question. He waited for Cagalli to put back the red one in the clothes rack before continuing to talk to her. "And what's so wrong about trying to hide my gayness from other people?" Cagalli giggled, something which made Shinn's heart flutter a bit, before answering Shinn.

"Nothing except shouldn't you be proud of who you are?" There was an undertone of seriousness in Cagalli's voice which went unnoticed by Shinn. He laughed mentally. He knew Cagalli well enough that whenever she spoke with that tone of voice, she was worried. And he was happy that she was worried about him though something inside him told him he shouldn't be.

"You may be right about that but don't forget some people are prejudiced against gays." Shinn reminded the blonde who was already heading for the counter to pay for her dress.

"Well…you can pretend to not be gay on other people but you'll still be gay though."

'Right…I'll always be gay…except I'm not.' Shinn thought dejectedly. "Anyway…you're not going to try that out?" The raven-haired boy asked to change the subject. He didn't feel like talking about his non-existing gayness with Cagalli. He sighed mentally. He didn't even know why he was pretending to be gay on Cagalli. He hated being gay, it made him feel like a hypocrite but he knew if he were to tell Cagalli the truth then things would get ugly.

"Well, you yourself recommended it for me. So it has to look good right?" Cagalli said giving Shinn a cheery smile, making the said boy feel guilty somewhat. He only recommended her the green one because he wanted to see how good she'd look wearing it.

_And how much skin it would reveal…_

'Why am I still pretending anyway? She already has Athrun for a boyfriend and they've been together for a long time already.' He was sick. He was only pretending to be gay to get close to Cagalli. The raven-haired boy laughed bitterly in his head. He was a sick, sick, sick man. Cagalli trusted him and all he did was feed her lies. He felt really low.

"Hey, Shinn? Why'd you stop? Are you feeling sick or anything?" Oh yes, Shinn was sick, very sick.

"No, I'm fine." Shinn successfully gave off a fake smile, calming Cagalli's worried eyes. Another lie. Shinn was starting to hate himself.

"Then let's go home." Cagalli said.

"Sure…" Shinn said, forcing a smile despite how guilty he felt.

ooooooo

That night at Shinn's house

ooooooo

"I told you you'd feel guilty sooner or later." Dearka said on the other line of the phone, making Shinn grunt in frustration.

"Yeah, sure. You were right and I was wrong. There. Happy?" Shinn admitted annoyed. He already did a lot of contemplating to know that he was wrong to do what he did. He didn't need his best friend rubbing it in his face. God just how insensitive can Dearka be?

"Pretty much." Dearka answered, his voice triumphant. "And? What are you going to do now?" Dearka's voice contained all too much seriousness for Shinn's liking. There was a short moment of silence in which Shinn was thinking. Finally, he spoke breaking the said silence.

"Tell her the truth and hope for the best, I guess." Dearka tried to suppress bursting out laughing but failed miserably resulting in Shinn putting on a scowl even though he knew Dearka couldn't see it.

"That's just stupid. You know there is no 'best' in doing that." Dearka said when he finally managed to kill off his laughter. He knew Shinn was impulsive and brash but he didn't think he was this stupid to come up with a 'hope for the best' idea with the situation he's in.

"And just how do you know that?" There was evident disbelief in Shinn's voice that Dearka knew he had to explain to the raven-haired boy for him to understand.

"Think about it. For how long have you been fooling her? For how long has she trusted you with secrets that she would only tell other girls, or in you case, gays? She's not going to just let it go laughing and saying 'I never would have guessed.' Face it, Shinn." Dearka paused partly for emphasis and partly for Shinn's apparently non-working brain to take in all he's said. "Breaking the news out to Cagalli would also mean breaking her trust."

Shinn was stunned to silence by Dearka's words. He knew everything he said was right. Cagalli trusted him with secrets her boyfriend Athrun wouldn't even dream of knowing. He knew she preferred tampons to maxipads. He knew how she acted before she has her period. Heck, he even knew how insecure she is about her bust size. All those he knew only because he fooled Cagalli into thinking he was gay. There was absolutely no way they could just laugh it off as a joke. Shinn was aware of it now.

"You're right Dearka." Shinn admitted, his voice devoid of any hope, so much that even Dearka felt sorry for Shinn…sort of. "There is no 'best' in this situation. Cagalli and I can't get out of this laughing. It's a lose-lose situation no matter how I look at it." Dearka would've said something to ease Shinn's anxieties but stopped when he heard him sob. It was faint but he heard it. He couldn't confirm it but was Shinn…crying? The thought amazed Dearka but he pushed it aside, knowing he had more important matters to attend to.

"Hey…Dearka?" Shinn sounded pleading. "If I can't tell her, then what can I do?" Dearka didn't respond and only the sound of his deep breathing told Shinn he was still there. "Come on Dearka…"

"That…only you can answer." Dearka finally said when he couldn't take anymore of Shinn's pleading. There was a limit to how low a man could get and Shinn just broke those limits and brought it up to a whole new level. "You can either choose to tell her or not but either way it's a decision you have to make on your own. I'm sorry but I can't help you with this, Shinn."

"I see…" was all that Shinn could manage to mutter out. He wasn't angry at Dearka after all he had no right to be. This problem was entirely his fault and asking Dearka to bail him out of it was just unacceptable.

"Well…don't worry too much about it. Just take your sweet time deciding." Dearka's voice was a little more cheery to cheer Shinn up even though the former knew it wouldn't work. "Uh…If you've got nothing more to say I'll hang up now." Shinn chuckled though Dearka could tell it lacked the usual mirth it contained.

"Sure, go ahead." And Shinn placed the phone back in its receiver after Dearka hung up. Shinn stood up, wanting to go to the bathroom when the doorbell rang. He wondered who it could be before opening the door.

He was more than surprised when he found Cagalli at his doorstep, her cheeks stained with hot tears flowing down her amber eyes. "C-cagalli?" He managed to stutter out. "Why are you crying?" The blonde didn't answer but instead she went near to Shinn and placed her head against his firm chest, her tears blotching up his shirt. Shinn automatically circled his arms around her, pulling her in a tight embrace. "Come on, let's get you inside." Then Shinn led Cagalli inside his house to which the blonde didn't offer any resistance to.

The ruby-eyed boy made Cagalli sit on his couch before going to his kitchen to fix her something to drink. He came back a few minutes later with a warm cup of hot chocolate in his hands. After placing it on the coffee table, Shinn took his seat next to her. Even when she was crying, she was beautiful Shinn noted. The way Cagalli bit her lip when she cried made it all the more tempting to ravage with kisses. Shinn's eyes widened for a moment when he realized where his thoughts were leading him. He berated himself before putting his thoughts into the deepest depths of his mind.

The silence in the room broke when Cagalli spoke, her tears still flowing down her pale cheeks.

"He broke up with me." Her voice was barely above a whisper that Shinn had trouble understanding what she said. "Athrun broke up with me." She repeated when she sensed Shinn didn't understand, her clearer voice clearer this time.

Shinn was obviously shocked at what Cagalli just said. "Why?" The word came out so effortlessly and almost automatically out of Shinn's mouth. Cagalli seemed to have a hard time telling Shinn the reason but the said boy didn't force her instead he waited. He just couldn't understand why Athrun would break up with the blonde. After all, why would anyone break up with someone like Cagalli?

After some time, Cagalli finally managed to muster to will power to tell Shinn the reason why Athrun broke up with her. "He…he fell in love with another girl. He told me her name was Lunamaria." Shinn creased his brows in thought. He just didn't get it.

"Cagalli, why would you waste your tears over something like this? You're usually a lot stronger." Shinn couldn't help but point out. Cagalli gave him a look that clearly told him he understood nothing about her situation.

"You don't get it. Athrun told me they were already expecting." Expecting? Then Shinn's eyes widened at the realization of what the word meant. Cagalli noticed this and continued. "Now do you understand why I'm crying, Shinn?" The crying blonde asked as rage began to build up inside Shinn's being. He had an urge to go confront the two-timing bastard right now but he repressed it, knowing Cagalli needed him more than Athrun needed a good beating.

"Did he tell how long has the girl been pregnant?" Shinn inquired, wanting to know just how long Athrun has been lying to Cagalli. 'But aren't I just doing the same?' Shinn asked himself mentally but didn't get the chance to answer his question since Cagalli spoke.

"Eight months." Cagalli let out meekly before sniffling. "But only God knows how long he's been seeing that Lunamaria girl." The blonde added and Shinn didn't miss the tinge of bitterness in her voice as she spoke. Shinn didn't say anything, his mind wondering if Athrun has been lying to Cagalli for as long as he has. "Shinn, I don't want to talk about this right now. I just want to cry." Cagalli's eyes were searching Shinn's for agreement. Shinn nodded in understanding.

Cagalli went closer to Shinn and she pulled him in an embrace. Shinn knew it wasn't the time to, but he noticed a lot of things about Cagalli now that she was so close to him. The raven-haired boy noted how petite her form seemed to be when compared to his. Her scent was chemical driving his senses dizzy with desire. He could feel she wasn't wearing a bra because of the prominent feel of her nipples beneath the dress she bought before, a tell-tale sign she planned to have sex with Athrun, making Shinn even angrier that the bastard betrayed Cagalli.

"You know Cagalli…" Shinn said huskily making Cagalli look up at him. "Athrun's an idiot to not know what he just lost. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Anyone." Shinn's eyes met with Cagalli's and for an unknown reason, all sense of control left him. Quickly, he swooped down and captured Cagalli's lips in a hungry kiss. Cagalli was surprised to say the least to find her gay friend kissing her. She was too confused to enjoy the pleasure Shinn's lips were giving her.

Finally Shinn pulled back with an apologetic look on his face. Cagalli and he stared at each other for a good moment before the blonde gathered enough courage to speak.

"W-what was that for?" Shinn couldn't bear to look at Cagalli's eyes that held so much confusion.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered out but Cagalli heard it.

"But you're gay!" Cagalli said aloud more to herself than Shinn. Gently, she touched her lips which had been sullied by Shinn's and spoke again, her voice more demanding than anything. "Shinn, tell me. What was that for?" When he remained quiet, the blonde didn't hold back a shout. "Shinn!"

"I'm not gay!" Shinn shot back heatedly, surprising Cagalli. "I'm not gay. I was just pretending to be one." His voice was a lot gentler this time but it did nothing to calm Cagalli down.

"But we talked about girl stuff…" Cagalli insisted. "You even knew the difference between a maxipad and a tampon!" Shinn flinched visibly when Cagalli said that. Cagalli had no idea what kind of hell he went through learning the difference between those two.

"That's because I researched it! I researched every little girl stuff I could think of! Anything else you want to ask me?" Shinn asked, waiting for Cagalli to say something.

"Then that time when you said you wished you could experience water weight-" Shinn cut Cagalli off, not giving her a chance to finish.

"It was a lie. All of it." His voice was filled with regret and guilt as he spoke. The two stayed silent for a while until Shinn spoke. "You're not going to ask why I lied to you about being gay?"

"Then why did you?" Shinn immediately regretted asking his question when he sensed how much hurt Cagalli's voice contained nevertheless he still answered albeit guiltily.

"It's because I'm in love with you." Shinn's words surprised the blonde. Cagalli stayed silent for a while, contemplating whether or not she can believe Shinn. He lied to her about being gay so what's stopping him from lying about being in love with her?

"If you were in love with me then why pretend to be gay?" Shinn took in a deep breath before he answered Cagalli.

"You know how a week after we met we started to hang out and talk on the phone all night?" Cagalli nodded.

"Yes, but we still do that." She said.

"I know but there was a time when I asked you out to a movie and I was about to kiss you then but you suddenly turned to me and said 'I love having a gay friend to talk to.' What could I do after hearing that?" Shinn asked to no one in particular.

"You could've told me it was a mistake! And anyway you waited too long to make your move! Of course I would think you're gay!"

"Well, I'm not! I hate being gay and I hate talking girl talk and I hate accompanying you to buy underwear! I just wanted to be your boyfriend!" Shinn tried to stroke Cagalli's cheeks to wipe away her tears but she swatted his hand away. There was rage in Cagalli's eyes that Shinn never saw before and he felt ashamed for being the cause of it.

"And I just wanted my gay friend to cry on! But all I get is a screwed up gay wannabe!" Cagalli's words cut deep. And for the umpteenth time, he found himself looking at his sofa rather than at Cagalli's eyes. "But it's probably just my luck I attract screwed up guys." Cagalli flashed Shinn a rueful smile then stood up. "You know Shinn I never expected you'd lie to me like Athrun did."

Shinn looked up giving Cagalli an equally rueful smile. "Yeah, me neither…if only I made my move earlier huh?"

"Yeah, if only you made your move earlier…but as it stands, I just lost my boyfriend _and_ my gay friend." Shinn smirked out of regret. He knew his friendship with Cagalli was as good as gone.

"And I lost the girl I love and a friend as well."

"Looks like it. Well, I'm going now. I'm sorry to have taken up your time."

"It was fun while it lasted." Cagalli nodded in agreement. Her eyes met with Shinn but she pulled away, heart heavy with remorse. She muttered a 'goodbye' when she reached the doorknob then walked out of Shinn's door and out of his life. The raven-haired boy knew that was the last he'd see of Cagalli as one resounding thought echoed in his mind.

_If only I made my move sooner…_

A/N: I rushed the ending since it's one in the morning where I am but I still hope this fic is worth the read.

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